"Torturegate": The Shocking Truth Revealed.

Explosive, incendiary, bombshell revelations in the Ottawa War Crimes trials:

"The first is that the hysteria of this week to the contrary, there is still no evidence that any prisoners taken by Canadian soldiers and handed over to Afghan authorities were tortured.

"What there is. . . is one case of an Afghan who was sort of and only briefly in Canadian custody, handed over to Afghan authorities, and then rescued by Canadian soldiers, though not from torture.

". . .Secondly, the MP didn't photograph the man purely to show he was in good condition when he got into the ANP truck. Canadians were routinely photographing every prisoner they detained, in part because most Afghans don't carry identification and sometimes have only one given name, but also so that international monitors, such as the International Committee of the Red Cross, had solid evidence of who was who.

"Thirdly, it would be helpful if politicians on all sides of the House remembered to make the distinction between the conduct of Canadian soldiers - who by every account behaved exactly as Canadians would want them to behave - and the detainee issue."

Meanwhile, among dozens of worthy candidates, the winner of the best Onion-grade eruption of unintentional self-parody by a Canadian newspaper in l'affaire trop de garottes is the final sentence in this article: "Meanwhile, nothing new was learned or unearthed today in the daily Question Period regarding the Afghanistan affair."

No kidding.